The Final Decision

Hey everyone

This post is a little difficult for me and writing it isn't easy but it needs to be done! We must confront the truth when it is presented and behave accordingly.

I'm going to touch on a few things in this post and it may be a bit long but bear with me!

If you feel like you've read this before, it's probably because you have! This was written originally on my personal blog but to save time and mental stability, I've decided to carry it over and edit things here or there to keep you guys in the know.

I've been writing a lot about my dreams and aspirations; mostly for my own personal sanity but also to help inspire other people to dream bigger. There's one thing that I want to be in this world and that's an inspiration. 

Incredibly, I've gotten story after story from people who have read my blog and caused them to look at the world as an option. This blows me away and I'm honoured that people are reading my words and  are being inspired. I love that some people are seeing that America, while great in its own way and full of opportunity, is not everything. There is a whole world to explore and experience, you just have to refuse to sell yourself short, take the first step and leap. 

However, there is a flipside to everything. There is the success story, the one they write about in books,  and then there is the short end of the stick. I seem to be the poster child for the latter; being the example for the reality of pursuing dreams and aspirations.

With that being said, due to extreme financial difficulty and roadblocks, I will neither be moving to England nor attending Kingston University in the fall. 

Although I've been preparing my heart for this kind of outcome, there aren't many words to describe how completely gutted I am about all this. It's one thing to have never been accepted to university, it's a completely separate matter entirely being accepted to university and being unable to attend. It's no secret that I have an immense desire to attend university and pursue further education so this blow is a very painful one. I'm not closing the door for God to do something ridiculously insane but the current situation is pretty bleak and hurts like a motherfather.

Despite this outcome, I am looking to the positives. This opens my future to something completely different. Like I was telling someone the other day, I can always move to England, it's just a matter of when. I'm young. I have my whole life ahead of me to grow. This is only a minor setback. I said it before I opened what would be my acceptance email, even if this doesn't happen, moving to Europe is still on the table. I'm not giving up; just exploring another avenue. 

Now becomes the question: what next?? I'll be in America a bit longer so I guess I will have to make the best of it. ;)

I'm not sure what the next step looks like but rest assured that I won't be kept down by this setback. Life is too short to wallow in what has passed (or will pass), so I will be considering other options for the fall. 

As for school, I don't really know what that looks like now. As a Christian, I believe that everything a reason and a purpose. Now, I'm not saying that I understand the purpose in everything, I just choose to believe there is purpose. But honestly, I'm not sure if this is God's way of telling me to get an education here in America or not but if He wants me to go to school, He will have to point me in the right direction. I'm at my wits end with this whole thing. The pursuit of higher education should never be this difficult, in my opinion. The roadblocks I have encountered are immense and ridiculous. It's no wonder people are daunted by the idea of pursuing uni.

I would be content studying in America though. My only issue is my utter distaste for the American school system and my desire to not want to study in America. Haha! But if God wants me to go to school here in America, I hope a large portion of patience will be attached to the package...next to a big, fat check...I'm kidding!

Okay, okay I was kidding a little...but you laughed, I know you did.

I will still continue to write (of course), I'll still be working on my style blog and providing excellent life commentary on Twitter & Instagram. Rest assured, I'm not going to let this get me down. :) 

Anyway, thank you guys for your stories, your support and your company in my journey. It is greatly appreciated and I love you all for it. I'm not sure what this means for The Modern Wardrobe, being that I'm still one of the international bloggers for UCAS, but I hope you continue to be in my corner in the future and follow along with me even if it's not here.

In two weeks I'll be 22 and for the first time in a few years, I'm looking forward to seeing what is next for me. Sure I won't be making living arrangements for Kingston but that's still cool...yeah...:ahem:....lol 

Feel free to continue leaving your comments and stories! I will check back here and respond to you guys and help wherever I can. If I find some resources for those still in the uni process, I'll be sure to keep you in the know!

Thanks again for everything! :) 

Steven 

Overcoming Stress Starving!

Hello friends, happy Monday!

It's no secret that the university process is stressful as ever. 

You have finance things, housing, tying up loose ends, exams and revisions, finances...

SUPER STRESSFUL. 

I'm not sure if you're like me but when I'm stressed, I don't eat! I know of a lot of people that stress eat and stuff their faces with all the foods. However, I'm just not like that. When I'm stressed out, the thought of consuming food is borderline sickening. 

Speaking of being sick, not eating is a bad things. It's very unhealthy. Sure you're not gaining weight but you're also not getting nutrients; fuel for your body! (I'm talking to myself here too, people)

Without further ado, I present Sorted Food! 

These YouTube guys are based in the UK and have excellent recipes. 

Not a good cook? No worries! Half of these guys started out not knowing a thing about cooking and are learning along the way through the videos from Ben (the dude in black). 

Their recipes are easy to understand, affordable and, most importantly, tasty. Perfect for the uni student, stress eater or stress starver!

Make sure you give them a look-see and subscribe to their YouTube channel, sortedfood, and their website. 

Happy eating! I'm going to go finish some pie... 

Steven.

When Plans Don't Go As Planned...

Happy Wednesday!

Now I'm not going to mention how bad I have been about updating this blog. 

Actually, I'll talk about it a little. 

This journey, as I've mentioned before, it very emotional and I have been an emotional mess these past couple of weeks. 

First the good news: I applied for the Kingston University Scholarship last month as well as a couple other ones. I'm still waiting to hear back sooooo FINGERS CROSSED!

I also applied for campus housing which is really exciting!

Now the (semi) bad news: I went to apply for a loan for school and long story short, I can't get the loan. 

That really threw a wrench into my plans because I wasn't counting entirely on scholarships and now I'm pretty much out of luck for the time being. I've also looked and apparently there are more scholarships for people going to school in the UK for their graduate programme rather than for undergrad. This presents a problem. Apparently what I'm doing isn't the norm for Americans...

But I digress! 

There are a lot of other factors that are private but that's the gist of it. 

I've been trying to not worry about it but it's kind of difficult because I've wanted this for so long and the time is getting closer and I have to pay to get this visa! UGH! 

*breathe*

I'm even getting to the point that I don't even want to talk about it because every time someone mentions me leaving, I keep seeing the email from the lender in my inbox telling me something I don't want to hear. I am trying to have a positive attitude because anything can happen between now 

I feel bad that I can't offer tips for you guys but I hope that I can show you guys the real side of getting to university; that things don't always go as planned. You have to stay positive, intuitive and flexible to whatever comes. 

You also need to surround yourself with people who are going to encourage you and not bring you down. Find people who will listen to you and provide guidance that is in your best interest. 

Anyways, I know this is going up pretty late in the UK but thanks for still being here! I hope to be more forthcoming with you in the future. If you have any ideas as to what I should do, leave them below! Haha! United we stand. Woo! 

Make sure you check me out on Twitter and Instagram because I post there literally every day...seriously. #addicted. 

Thanks again! Cheers!

xx Steven

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Solo

Happy Thursday!

The past couple weeks have been full of a lot of internal reflection. A week or so two of my friends and their three girls boarded a plane and moved to Uganda, Africa to bring home to their daughter, Chloe

Insane but remarkable. 

Their first stop was in London and I couldn't help but think about my own inevitable move in 5 months to Kingston. Then my brain began going through how they must be feeling and how determined in their hearts they would have to be just to get on the plane. Never mind the fact that they paid for everything and this has been in the works for months. It must have taken everything within them to board that plane, leaving what was comfortable and known behind and embarking on a new path in Africa. 

I, then, began mirroring it to my own journey. I will be doing almost the same thing. I am leaving what is familiar for the unfamiliar in the pursuit of something greater. They'll be travelling farther than I and they have a child waiting their arrival in Uganda but at least they have each other which makes it easier. 

I will be boarding that plane alone and that terrifies me. 

I mean, I've boarded planes by myself before. I even travelled to the UK alone. But there's something about knowing that you will be boarding a plane by yourself to move to a place where no one knows you. Sure it's a clean slate where I can literally be whomever I want to be and recreate myself but I won't have the familiarity of friends nor the comforts of knowing that people who love me are in the UK. 

With that being said, I am still determined. I knew this move was going to be emotional and it's going to get worse before it gets better but it's worth it. At the end of it, I'll be able to look back and see how far I've come, enjoy what is going on in the present and look forward towards a bright future. In the meantime, I am going to cleave to the friendships and loved ones I have here and enjoy every moment. 

I'm opening the platform now! If you are already planning for uni in the fall, what type of hurdles are you currently trying to hop over? Just pop a comment down below. 

Also, don't forget to follow me on Twitter and Instagram to stay up to date on what's going on with me! 

Steven

Being Ridiculous

Happy Tuesday!

GAH! Lately I've been feeling so guilty not updating because...well, there's nothing to really update! I've literally spent most of my time waiting for the university to send me information that I can start using towards getting all my ducks in a row. I've been told that will happen in May. It is March.

:sigh:

They did, however, open the application for the international scholarship. I immediately jumped on it only to realise that they need a letter of recommendation from a previous educator. Since I was homeschooled, this might prove to be quite difficult. I did, however, do that one semester of classes at Wake Tech but there was only one class I took on campus and I didn't really drum up a relationship with the teacher. I know what you're saying, "Steven, stop being dumb and ask" but I can't seem to send this email! It's so awkward! It's in part because I don't like asking people for anything. Not out of pride but out of not wanting to inconvenience anyone. I am notorious for getting myself into situations simply because I was too afraid to ask someone for help! It's really bad and it's something I'm working on. 

Speaking of working, I'm currently moving things around so I can properly start focusing more on my fashion blog. Creating content is something I've been having trouble with mostly because I don't really know my readership! I don't receive feedback, therefore I don't know what to write about. It's a problem that I'm hoping will be sorted out fairly soon. 

Well that's it from me. Sorry for the hiatus! I know most of you are still replying to offers and making plans for university and I am wishing you all the absolute best! :)

Steven - @ssharpeminor

Half the Battle

Happy Tuesday! 

Getting into school is half the battle. Paying for school is the rest of the battle. 

I'm the type of person who doesn't like debt. I know that's silly considering that students will inevitably acquire debt but I don't like it. It's something that weighs over your head like a dark cloud and I want no part in it. However, I'm quickly realising how ridiculously difficult it is to find alternative means for funding such as scholarships and grants. 

Part of the trouble is my situation. I am an American student, I've been out of high school for several years and I'm studying in Europe. Many scholarships and grants, at least in the US, are school specific or for people who are completely destitute which I am not. This means I only partially qualify for a vast majority of the scholarships and grants that are available. Another part of the trouble is getting duped from the scams that out there asking for money in exchange for help finding funding that they never intend to offer. 

It's very disheartening.

 I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high to avoid the despair of finding a good scholarship that I don't qualify for. However, if I don't keep my hopes up, I will want to give up and that's not something that I can risk. 

I was reading an article published by River, the student newsletter for Kingston University, and further in the article it talked about how some students were using their bodies for money for school. It disturbed me greatly, to say the least. I had asked, "Why would students feel the need to sell their bodies for tuition?" I kind of understand it now. Looking for funding is difficult and many lose hope and revert to other, less respectful ways to pay for their education. Nevertheless, this should never be an option. 

If you are having trouble finding funding for school, do not lose hope. I'm right there with you and we will get through it even if it means we will acquire debt. We can earn money to pay back debts but earning self-respect is far more difficult. 

I am now opening the floor! Let me know in the comments what you've encountered trying to find funding for university! What works? What didn't work? How are you managing? 

Till next time :)

Steven 

Patience...

Happy Friday? 

I hate the 'P' word. 

Patience. 

I have a friend named Patience and I do not hate her. I love her to the moon and back but I'm talking about the virtue, patience. 

Since coming back from Europe on Monday, I have been seriously struggling with not only readjusting to American culture but with having patience with what is to come. 

Whilst I was on the plane flying back across the pond to the states, I had resolved in my mind that Operation: Kingston was about to be in full swing. Applying to loans, scholarships, sponsorships; the works. Then when I tried to actually do things, it turned out that I had to wait. 

In fact, everything that I need to do can't be done until March or April. 

WHAT?!?

I am the type of person that wants to be ahead of the game. I want to be the one who already has answered the question before it is asked and have things done before someone even thinks of doing it. I like being efficient and damn practically precognitive. For me, being timely means being down to the wire. I'm the person who is always ridiculously early to an important event. It's just who I am and completely in my nature. However, with Kingston, I can't be that way. 

This brings me back to patience. It is indeed a virtue but it is not one that I possess in abundance. I have to, now, come to a point where I have to be patient with the things I want to get finished with and look at the little things before the big things like paying for tuition or paying for my accommodations. I have to look at things like saving money, spending quality time with my family and friends, writing, making the most of my time here in the states so when it comes time to get the big things sorted through, I don't have to feel overly pressed by other things that I would have otherwise overlooked. 

My advice to you is to have a bit of patience. Whether you are waiting for your offer or you already have your offer in hand. Have patience and pay attention to the little things. I have 8 or 9 months left in the states before I move to England, that seems like a long time but it's scary how quickly it will pass and I don't want to be at the beginning of August wondering what I did with all of my time. 

That's it from me today! I hope you aren't stressing during this time of transition! The first date for UCAS application deadlines has passed so there are LOADS of you guys who are waiting on pins and needles for an offer. Don't worry! Universities will see your effort and take that into consideration. You can do this! :)

Steven.

P.S. If you haven't voted for me for blogger of the month you totally shoulddddd! The link is in the right sidebar at the top! You should also follow me on twitter! @ssharpeminor

And lastly, if you want to read about my trip to Europe, I have written part one of it on my personal blog HERE! Bye!! :)